6:08 p.m. - 2005-05-01
no more
So, in lieu of all the recent comments made.. I've decided not to write about him in here anymore. I know all the comments are coming from concern and love, and I appreciate it more than you know.. but ppl just aren't getting it.
When I say that I am over him... I am.
When I say that I am feeling shock more than anything, I am.
When I say that I KNOW AND ACCEPT the fact that he and I will never be walking down the aisle... I know and accept it.
When I say that things are different this time.. its because they are.
I can't even say that he's broken my heart before, because he did nothing. It was me. I was the one who got overly emotional in a situation where I had no right to do so. It was ME who fell in love with someone who didn't love me back, but then expected him to treat me like he loved me.
Do I think he is faultless? Of course not. Do I hold him accountable for his actions? OF course.. but do I hate him? No I don't... and I don't think I should. I'm not that kind of person, and regardless of the bullshit that went on between him and I in the past.. we still have a connection that can't be explained.
That being said. I'm done talking about him. As of now, I still am not even 100% sure he will be coming here, though I feel he will.
On a side note, Ryan and I planned out our summer training, and I will be taking over 140 hours of inservice this summer, and the ONE thing that the state MAKES us take (esol) they dont pay for. WHAT THE FUCK is that?
grr
Anyways.. just got my strip arobics dvd in the mail.. gonna go work out with my gf carmen electra.
xoxo
Melinda
