9:12 p.m. - 2007-09-15
in case you were wondering.....
So after having the realisation that I finally must let the whole idea of Brian and I go (which sadly has taken me all of, um, 17 years) *and btw I finally figured out because of advice I gave someone else*, I have felt much, free-er. (like that word?)
Between realising that I can't keep holding on to the idea that one day, something I do will make him look at me a different way, and realising that it is a mere 7 months until I turn 30, I have turned over a new leaf of sorts.
I've come to accept my life for what it is... I'm a soon to be 30 year old woman who has a LOT going for her. I have a job, that while it drives me insane, I love it and am DAMN GOOD at it. I own my own, albeit small home, and I have the cutest dog ever. My family and friends are the most amazing people in the world and I'm so spoiled to have them.
I'm finally looking forward to being 30. I'm glad that I'm not searching for my career or who I am anymore. I'm finally learning to spoil myself instead of others.. and I bought myself a blackberry on ebay.. and I uped my data plan so I can use all the fun things on it.
I'm going to start the tutoring after school so I have extra cash to recarpet the house, and to get new bedroom furniture... and all sorts of other things to make my house my own private perfect castle.
I'm going out more.. I'm becoming more organized, and have gotten back on track with the exercising.
i'm just finally taking care of myself.
And it feels good.
I'm going to go finish getting ready.. its Girls Night Out and I'm ready to mingle.
I don't want a boyfriend, but I wouldn't mind having a boy to smooch on. ;)
so, I'm wearing this...
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