3:16 p.m. - 2007-09-01
realisations
I realised the other night that I haven't written on here in forever.. not the way I used to. I used to pour out my heart and soul onto this page.
I don't really know why I've stopped. Possibly because I just don't question as many things anymore. I think in my old age, I've learned to just accept more. I've learned to accept that people are inately selfish and self centered. They are necessarily trying to be, but we are all just trying to survive and we need to take care of ourselves.
I think I've learned that wasting every moment of my life wondering why someone did something isn't a good thing. I can't keep wasting my time trying to figure out someone else... because as I sit there and think about them, my life is passing me by.
I think that I've learned that some things are better left unsaid. That while I still believe in being open and honest... sometimes its just better to think something rather than say it aloud.
I think that I'm so much more comfortable in who I am that I don't question every movement I do myself. I have a real job now, so its not that whole "what in the hell am I going to do with my life" time anymore.
My love life isn't anymore settled then when I started this thing, but its ok because I'm not so needy anymore. I am ok with being single... because I've proven to myself that I can do it on my own.
I can't promise that I'll write in here everyday like I used to, but I like having this account of my life.. so I'll continue to write in it.
xoxo
Melinda
