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9:58 p.m. - 2007-01-30
damn my big ass
Besides the bullshit at work, I'm dealing with some emotional crap as well.

For the first time ever, i'm really trying to be healthier.

I'm eating better, I'm watching what I eat.. I'm cutting down on what I eat.. and I can see some results.. but the problem is, i have no patience.

When it comes to kids, I have a LOT of patience.. they are young, they don't know better...

When it comes to anyone/anything else.. I'm like the worst cases of ADD you've ever seen.
Traffic - I'm damning people to hell
Work - I'm cursing people to hell who aren't doing their jobs.
Relationships - I want to know everything before I get emotionally involved

I hate the fact that I've become this unhealthy. I hate the fact that I now have to bust my ass to get healthy again... because I have no patience. I don't have 5-10 vanity pounds to lose people. I have much much more. That takes time.. time which for me drags on like fucking mud.

I'm trying to stay motivated. I have a time line I'm working on.. I have goals.. but I just fear that if I fail this time I'll give up for good.

YET... at anything else that I've really set my mind to... I've always done it... so I know myself well enough to know that I *can* do it.

I think it will be a lot easier once the gym opens and I actually can go work out and not have to do it at home, where I am distracted by 290789 things... like this computer or my comfy bed to lay in and read.

There's a couple of new pics on my myspace page from Gasperilla.
I think I have it on private, so make sure Ive added you as a friend. :)



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