10:17 p.m. - 2006-06-27
bitch session
~ So recently I was having a conversation with a friend and it turned sour really fast.
Basically it started out with me saying that I had a crush on one of my friends and that I wanted to kiss him. Now I know he has a girlfriend and I have no intention of like pushing him in the corner and trying to shove down my tongue down his throat.. but what I did say was that if we were all out and HE tried to kiss me..then I wouldn't stop it.
I understand her being a little appalled by that.. I mean we're not supposed to kiss boys who have girlfriends right? Right.. but then again, if it was the boy initating.. I think that it changes the ballgame completely... plus like I said.. I have a crush on him.. and I know him, and I know how he is.. and I know that it wouldn't mean anything but a kiss.
The thing that really hurt was that the conversation was ended with her telling me, 'be well in spirit'.
Yeah.
That's what I thought too.
It's like I've become some moral deprived heathen because I said I would kiss this guy. I find it not only hurtful but pretty damn self-rightous as well.. like she's better than me and I need some guidance or something.
Now I'm no saint.. ohhh I'm far from it... but really... 'be well in spirit'? I don't know why it pissed me off so much.. but it really does... and its not just because it's coming from this specific person.. because anyone telling me this would piss me off.
I *know* that she was trying to be nice and was concerned.. but like I said.. its just the way it came off....
I don't know if I'm being too like touchy about this.. or if I had a right to get upset. I asked a couple of people abuot it and they were like, "She said what?" So that makes me feel a little better.
I guess part of it is that I really try to live a pretty good life. I treat people the way I want to be treated and for someone to question my morals because of something I said I 'wanted' to do.. not even something I've done.. I will take that personally.
Ugh.. enough about this.. I'm going to bed.
xoxo
Melinda
