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2:24 a.m. - 2006-05-21
totally alone
I just tumbled in from the reunion where I drank a lot of beers, so this will probably have asome typing errors and make not so much sense.

It was actually a lot of fun. I got to see a bunch of people I haven't seen in a long time.. and it was nice to catch up.
It was nice to see how we've all grown up. We've all mellowed out and seem to ahev the ablity to appreciate our friendships and each other a little more.

Surrounded by all my peers who are all married and have kids/are pregnant, it was kind of a slap in the face.

Wehn we first heard about the reunion, James and I were happily together, and were going to go. I was so excited abuot going with him. I was excited at the thought of being able to share the experience with someone that I loved.

Then we broke up...

wehn I asked jerry, I thought it was a good idea. I thought that it would be fun to have a date and kinda cool since jerry was my date for prom.

*side note, i think I'm going to give up on a lot of capitals now... shift is hard to find drunk wth fake nails! ha!

anyways.. as I thought more and more about it, i figured that bringing jerry wouldn't be a good idea. i think that it was important for me to go on my own, and not have this like 'fake date' if you will.

I don't regret not bring him or anything, because i got to make a total ass out of myself as i made googly eyes on a certain boy....

i'm just a little sad i guess.
sad that i'm not married.. sad that i haven't found someone to walk down this path of life with. sad that im no where near finding that person.. sad that it seems somedays that i never will.

Everyone keeps telling me, "ohhh you will Melinda, don't worry".
but I dunno.

It's a strange feeling.. to be in a room of a ton of people, surrounded by my closest friends who I adore and who love me back.. and still feel totally alone.

anyways.. im durunk.. i need to go to bed and just for the record.. im not wearing heels for like 2 months. my feet hurt.


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