10:37 p.m. - 2005-07-31
Hung out with Adam and the crew.
It was a night that I will never forget and one that so many 'firsts' happened..
I want to tell the whole story, but I really can't... not to the whole world... not even to most of my friends.... its just not something I really want to share.. it'd like almost take away the magic of it.. it was so special because of who I was with.. and I'd like to keep it between us.
You understand right?
One thing I will say is this.
My feelings for James have completely shifted in the past weekend.
He told me he loved me Friday night... he whispered it before we fell asleep but wouldn't let me say anything back to him.
The whole night/all of Saturday I was stunned. I've honestly never had anyone say it to me in the way he meant it...
Thing is? I do. From the moment I met him, something was there between us. I acted differently with him right from the beginning than I have with any other guy. I didn't get the over the top feelings for him.. maybe beause I knew deep down he was going to stick around, and htat I didn't have to try to get all the feelings into a short amount of time.
I can't even explain it really.
All I know is, he sees in me everything I've always wanted someone to see in me. He appreciates me and nutures me, and just plain loves me.
I told him how I used to feel that I would end up alone... he got really upset by that, and told me he can't understand how I was alone to begin with.. how did no one else see in me all the things I have to offer?
I told him it was because they weren't right for me.. and that while it took a llooonng time to find him.. he was worth the wait.
And have I mentioned he has the most amazing hazel/green eyes? And his mouth? Oy.. to die for. ;)
So that's it.
I'm such a happy girl.