2:38 p.m. - 2005-07-14
late nights.. they're killing me
~ Last night was dinner with the folks and Laura and her parents. It was a really nice time had by all.
James was hanging out with his dad, who didn't leave until 12, so by then it was too late for us to see each other. I was supposed to go teacher shopping today with Ryan, but she said that we couldn't get the cc from school today.
Anyways.. so instead of going to bed early like I was planning, I sat on the phone with James until like 3:30am.
Since I'm not shopping today, I'm going to do some laundry and then go over and watch a movie with James and his mother. Tomorrow we're going to go see Willy Wonka! I am way too excited about this movie.. lol
I'll be sure to take some pics of him tonight so you guys can see what he looks like.
I'm totally over the whole issue with my sisters. If they don't want to be happy for me, that's their business. All I know is that I really like this boy. I've connected with him in a very short time.. its actually pretty nerve-racking because we have connected so well in such a short amount of time.
My desire to be safe, and to flee is sometimes overwhelming.. mainly because I know that should we continue the way we are.. the feelings are going to be so deep.. and the risk of getting hurt just grows everyday.
I guess I'm finally ready to risk that though. I've hidden behind the role of the best friend long enough... and I'm really ready to have a real relationship.
I talked to Adam yesterday online.. he was supportive (which means a lot). Here's the best line from the conversation:
UCFgrl: My sisters are giving so much shit for it
UCFgrl: Jen's basically called me a hooker
UCFgrl: Robin has basically told me I'm crazy
mauidan15: well hell tell Jen that it's ok and tell Robin she can suck my dick if she doesn't like it
*and ppl wonder why he and I are such good friends* lol
~ So one of the conversations James and I talked about last night was this journal. Of course he wants to see it. It makes me nervous, because there is a lot of shit on here. He understands of course.. but still wants to read it. I told him when I feel comfortable enough, I'll let him.
Of course than if I ever get pissed at him, I'd have to save it for the other journal.. lol
Anyways.. off to do laundry.. then to see my boy... its so nice to be able to say that.. "My boy". :)
I'm such a geek.
xoxo
Melinda
