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12:06 p.m. - 2005-06-09
fuckkkk this
Yesterday was not a good day.

I took it out on people who didn't deserve it.

And to you (you know who you are) I apologize.

I thought about not writing about it in here.. but then I figured fuck it. This is my journal and if people can't handle the bad with the good then they can just stop reading it.

First I got an email from Brian. He's telling me he still doesn't know about FL, but he should find out soon, but is in some massive communication with Tampa General to come here. So it is Tampa.. and not Miami.. and Brian could be living in Tampa.. living like 45 miles away. Brian. Here. In. Florida.

Secondly I'm acting way too much like a girl in this whole John situation. I *know* he's insanely stressed with this house thing and his class, but it still doesn't make me feel any better when I get the strong feeling that he wouldn't really care if we didn't talk anymore.
Thing is, I have no right to ask him anything, I know he's stressed..and I'm trying to take all of this into consideration, but really, its hard when he's the first boy in forever that I've really LIKED.

Then last night I talked to Andy for the first time in forever and instead of listening to his advice, I was a bitch and played the martyr and pissed both of us off.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Anyways. I need to call my sister about lunch and a pedicure. Maybe that will make me feel better.

If not.. I'm coming back and spending the rest of the day in my room reading and pouting.



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